AI Becomes the New Digital Wingman — But at What Cost to Authentic Connection?
Artificial intelligence is stepping into the world of romance as an on-demand dating assistant, helping users craft messages, optimise profiles, and even break the ice. But while some daters say AI gives them confidence and clever conversation starters, experts warn it risks replacing real human connection with digital perfection.
AI Dating Assistants Gain Popularity
Dmitry, a 35-year-old from Miami, says AI has changed how he approaches online dating. When unsure how to start a conversation on a dating app, he turned to Rizz, an AI-powered dating assistant. After feeding in details from his match’s profile, the app suggested an opening line that helped him move from chatting online to meeting in person.
“Rizz gives me some quirky, funny responses,” he said. “It helps me spark a conversation with something interesting that gets attention.”
Rizz, named after the slang term for charisma, has 15 million global users, according to the company. Subscriptions cost $19.99 per month, and the app’s founder, Roman Khaves, says its purpose is to make dating interactions feel “more human” and help users “get off the apps faster.”
Other platforms, like YourMove AI, provide similar services for $12.99 a month, offering help with message writing, profile creation, and even photo enhancement. Founder Dmitri Mirakyan says the app caters to people who feel anxious or awkward about online dating. “It still feels mentally painful,” he explained. “People get ghosted, rejected — it’s exhausting.”
A study by the Kinsey Institute and Match Group found that more than a quarter of US adults, including nearly half of Gen Z, use AI to help filter matches or write messages.
The Risk of ‘Perfection Without Connection’
While AI can help users feel more confident, some daters are beginning to sense when conversations feel too polished. London-based writer Sophie Sherwin, 52, says she grew suspicious when a man she met online sent messages that sounded overly poetic — so perfect that they didn’t feel human.
“His answers were just too good to be true,” she said. “They were perfect, and people aren’t perfect.”
Although she wouldn’t have minded if he had admitted to using AI, Sherwin said the experience made the interaction feel hollow. “I think the danger is that you could potentially fall in love with perfection — perfection without the connection,” she said.
Experts Call for Balance and Honesty
Dating coach Grace Lee, based in New York, uses AI and virtual reality tools to simulate dating scenarios for her clients. She believes these technologies can help people practice communication but warns against overreliance. “Apps spend millions perfecting algorithms,” she said, “but they spend nothing helping people actually talk about themselves.”
Psychology professor Gary Lewandowski echoed that view, advising daters to rely on their own voice. “At some point, you’re going to have to go on a real date,” he said. “You need to be comfortable with who you are, not who an algorithm tells you to be.”
As AI continues to evolve, its role in modern dating may expand — but experts agree that while it can help break the ice, the spark still has to come from real human connection.
with inputs from Reuters